You’re a Narcissist, and So Am I

The Science Behind Why You Can’t Stop Staring at Yourself in Video Conferences:

Welcome to Zoom, where the real struggle isn’t keeping up with your boss’s monologue—it’s resisting the urge to stare at that irresistible little square showing your face. Forget the content or conversation; it’s a face-off with your reflection, and… guess who’s winning?

Here’s the scientific truth behind why you can’t stop gazing at yourself:

You’re a Narcissist

Yep, it’s true. We all have a few narcissistic tendencies. But before you start feeling guilty about it, relax. We’re all guilty. Humans are wired to focus on themselves. It’s like catching your reflection in a window and pretending you didn’t just check yourself out. Let’s be honest—you did. Every. Single. Time. But hey, it’s okay. It’s practically a reflex!

Mere Exposure Effect

Why do we love our own reflection? It’s all about the “mere exposure effect.” Basically, the more we think we shouldn’t look, the more we want to. The more we see our own face, the more irresistible it becomes. Psychologist Robert Zajonc found that repeated exposure to a stimulus (in this case, your face) increases our preference for it. In an age where our screens are our constant companions, it’s no wonder we’re obsessed with our own image. It’s like a never-ending selfie session with the world's most captivating model—yourself.

The Science of Self-Gazing

There’s also a psychological comfort in seeing ourselves during calls. Dr. Sherry Turkle from MIT explains that seeing our reflection gives us a sense of control and reassurance. In the chaos of a multi-person video call, that little box with our face grounds us, making us feel more present and engaged. It’s like having your own personal cheerleader, constantly reminding you how amazing you are. Who needs validation from others when you’ve got yourself?

This self-gazing isn’t just vanity; it’s about connection. Not only do we feel our experience of the meeting or conversation, but we can see it. It’s like having a little anchor in a sea of digital faces. Our own face can bring us safety, a rare and delightful sense of self in a world where we’re often so outwardly focused. Who knew your face could be so multi-talented?

Embrace It

So, the next time you’re distracted by your reflection, don’t stress. Embrace it! Fix your hair, adjust your shirt, and remember, you’re simply too great to ignore. Keep shining, because who better to admire your awesomeness than you? Finding delight, safety, and curiosity in your own face isn’t just normal—it’s wonderfully human.